I had a great conversation on twitter today. It went like this:
When i say "vapours" I mean the deeply uncomfortable feeling I get in my chest when i relax or try to go to sleep. Which I originally thought was solely caused by a non-drowsy allergy medicine, but came back to a lesser extent as life got busy this year. I even went in to the ER one night to make sure i wasn't having a heart attack. Two doctors agree that my heart is fine. But seriously, body? Is this anxiety over not being able to do all the things I "should?" Is this the next in a line of physical ailments my body uses to tell me to slow down? Because i seem to have solved the migraine problem and a flu shot seems to be keeping me healthy this season? And we have to find new ways to force me to take a nap?
Look, I am pursuing a lifelong dream. And trying to keep up with duties to my family. And be a good support person for my spouse. And have a home we can all enjoy and share. And maintain friendships...
Is this all too much to ask?
Maslow and I need to have a conversation about this. Because he wrote all about his hierarchy of needs, and said that doing something fulfilling would make me happy and sane! Not crazy and stressed out!
So I have cut way back on artificial stress...er, I mean- caffeine.
I am exercising when there's time and workout buddies.
Maybe, I am blogging to let the things bouncing around in my head out more often.
I am making a schedule and sticking to it.
I am asking the people in my house to respect my schedule and keep their own with regards to me.
I am streamlining processes that cause me problems, like comission work and photography.
I an letting things go. And learning to let other people do the things "only i can do".
And I am believing that the best I can do is Good Enough.
Will it work? We shall see.