Intentional Stones

Thinking Thursday

Homeschooling is probably the largest part of my life, like it or not. Don't get me wrong, I deeply love having home schooled children! But school is not a cakewalk, even with three very bright kids. Maybe that makes it harder. I like to be impulsive and my discipline comes from within. Together my three big personalities require external discipline and motivation. Without that our school experience is chaos, and when there's a lot to get done, impulse is deeply distracting. We all need external structure to make sure we get all of our goals met.

Cyber charter school helped us overcome our worst problems with homeschool progress. In the past attempting to be curriculum builder, teacher and disciplinarian has overwhelmed and defeated me. Our little homeschool team had a terrible success rate. A year and a half of the kids in the public schools gave me the perspective to understand what I value most about homeschooling. I realized collecting my own curriculum was not one of my talents. With My fly by the seat if my pants philosophy, I deeply value following interests, but kids will resist "hard work" like writing and spelling with all of their power, even if I keep the writing on an interesting topic. Having them in school helped me realize how far behind they were in writing and reading. I recognized that daily practice helped them learn and that classroom structure made that practice less difficult. I didn't like that the teachers had difficulty connecting with the kids. I didn't like the bullying with no adequate disciplinary response. Cyber school offered the structure and curriculum and the maximum class size is 3 and we get help remembering to keep up a steady pace.

Cyber school isn't perfect. Juggling three kids in three curricula is like juggling a scarf, a beanbag and a bowling ball all at the same time. My daughter can work independently. She frequently takes her laptop to her room and finishes 2 hours earlier than the boys. Unfortunately, this means sometimes she doesn't get as into the material. She doesn't take the time to discuss things that pique her interest unless I am stopping into her space to check in. She can read very quickly, but occasionally skips over things. I don't always catch it. The eldest has, after great pain of experience, learned to be independent as well, but the same issues can cause him to glaze over and lose comprehension. He also becomes quite unhappy if he's not getting attention. And finally, the Youngest. I'm beginning to think he's suffering a bit of ADD. He needs constant attention to keep his interest on school. If he's even a little hungry or tired he's more prone to losing it. And then there's the dynamic between the two boys. Sometimes they fight like alley cats if they just walk past one another. If one is asking a million questions about something interesting, the other jumps right in! Sharing interests is awesome, but if littlest is way behind because getting used to a more rigorous second grade than first (he is), he won't get all the parts of his day done! And sometimes I have to force them both back into the track that will get all our goals met.

I realize that this post contains easily 5 very large topics, but I really want to write mostly about art and jewelry in this blog. How about I try to post about homeschooling only on Thursdays? I think I need to write about this more. One of my writing blocks is the amount of my week spent engineering educated kids. I frequently weave wire or create kumihimo while we're schooling, but most of the time even repetitive tasks require too much of my attention. When my three students are deeply involved in their books and videos, they have a question or a problem just often enough that I really cannot develop a creative mindset. Bringing all of the elements of creating a learning environment together tests my dedication and creativity every single day.

 

-Simbelmyne

Because I want to be more in touch

Life is overwhelming.   Whose isn't? 

I promised writing today, here I am.

It's the time of year for things to be waking up.  The flowers, the birds and animals, me.

This year I'm working much harder.  Period

I'm working to be more true to what I really want to be doing.  Working in gemstone.  Working in metal.  You won't see anything from me that's metal that anyone else has made, unless I've had it a while and I've drilled holes in it or added findings to it or taken it apart and put it together.  (see bracelet above, yes those beads were pretty, but only one hole?  Really?  for such a large bead?  they're almost an inch wide!  So I fixed them.)

I spent today working on findings and on the trinket rings that people seem to love.  Thank you all! 

I'm also working much harder on the kids' school.  It's like I have three full time jobs. 

Hence the blog falling off the face of the earth.

We went to Florida and saw breathtaking things, above and below the water.  I hope I'll have time to write about that. 

And the summer is starting to shape up beautifully. 

Save the Date on April 14th, we'll be showing at the Soutside Works I Made It Market's Chili at the Works!  More on this tomorrow.  I'm really excited.

 

Which Way do we Go?

I admit it, the kids run my day.

Sometimes, this is a very good thing.  Sometimes very bad.  My kids are prone to wanting only one thing from a day-to play with electronics. And there is nothing more boring than a day stuck in the house with a bunch of people stuck in the computer.  So, my next admission is that I limit their options. 

Most days, the computer and web are unavailable, the game systems are only for people who finish chores and school nicely in the morning.  Generally, this creates enough space for walks and exciting activities to become available options. 

Rule Number 1:  Kids are all about the natural rhythms of the day.  Sunlight, hunger, boredom, friend-availability, sleep.  If I can ride the waves of these needs, we can have a fantastic day.  It's kind of like surfing though, if I miss a cue, the entire day can crash and burn, and it takes some fancy footwork to recover.  I'm lucky enough to have three kids whose schedules are compatible.  So the meshing of gears only needs to happen between the parents and the kids as groups.  So far, they are all amused by the same activities.  Maybe I'll get good enough at this juggling act that by the time they aren't, I'll be able to add a new element.

The oldest kids in this house (Adam and I) are learning to get to bed earlier and up earlier.  It's a lesson we've been trying to learn, unsuccessfully, throughout our lives.  So we're learning to compensate for our terrible habits.  And trying to drag the kids into our late schedule.  Which might work in the winter, but summer is not a great time for that. 

Wake up!
Here's the picture of my family:  Adam and I, naturally night owls, we'll stay up reading,  playing, or whatever  until all hours, and we're struggling out of bed.  Our three, up with the sun, happy that it's a new day, hungry and more than ready to ignore all their bodily needs just to get to their all-consuming passion, video gaming.  How do two zombie parents get three wily and awake kids presentable and fed before they burn down the house looking for the right game? 

What's worked?  The kids can't even Touch that gameboy until they're dressed, hair brushed and fed!  It's not much, but I can at least see clearly enough to verify that they look different than when they went to bed.

Breakfast is like my torque converter.  (the thing in the automatic transmission of your car that does the job of a clutch in a manual, syncing up the gears so you can shift and take off!)  They sit still and quiet for just a few minutes and I slug down some coffee and wake up, finally.  I eat some breakfast too, but it's usually nothing notable. 

My next trick is catching the little speed-racers at that golden moment of the morning when they're willing to try something new.  Be it a math lesson, a trip out to the museum, or just a board game.  If you'll recall, they've already had 45 minutes at their games by now.  This is the point where they've grown (slightly) bored by the bleep bleeps and a skillful pied piper can get them interested in something else.

This one's the hardest, because it means a successful homeschool day or a pleasing adventure (not that these aren't the same thing most days) or productive chores and housekeeping as a group.  If boredom creeps into the mix, somebody is particularly unhappy.  If my goals for the day aren't met, it's hard to relax in the evening. 

I try to build my goals each day, and this is not a great strategy it's capricious and sometimes I just don't want to make up goals!  But it suits my personality, it makes room for the moods and desires of the children, the house, us parents and friends and it's fun.  I do lean on curriculums for the painful and necessary parts of school.  No matter how cool writing and figuring can be, grammar, spelling and math are just not going to happen on their own.  Anyway, the structured work gives me time to get past my own "I don't wannas."  A well executed set of goals will get us through with all that unpleasant stuff very quickly and on to a fantastic day.

Groan....Speaking of "I don't wannas"... food.  The ultimate killer of goals.  For Lunch, if I've done well, I have leftovers to serve, or bread in the house for sandwiches or mini-pizzas.  It's important that it be possible to feed ourselves on the fly.  If we have to stop to make something, it's an interruption.  I use the lull to make easy to grab snacks, in case somebody short-changes themself on lunch.  Veggie sticks or yogurt can be eaten while we play or work.  And for dinner, I'd love every day to have a well thought out, many dish meal with fresh home-made bread, but that takes time I don't have every day.  Goals are lovely, but just now, I'm working to get through the day.

Now that we've taken care of the most important parts of the day for the kids, there's finally time for Me!  Creative time or time with friends are a must in every day.  I'm very fortunate to have a spouse who's into many of the kids favorite activities, and they can relax together over a video game, reading, and building stuff in the evenings while I make myself less available.  My kids are finally of an age where they can quietly join me while I craft, unless the torches are out!  It's hard to completely relax and work if I don't have a second parent about the house, I've heard of homeschooling parents who complete a full school day and a full work day without the second parent, and I'm befuddled as to how I would achieve this.  But, watching our entire family work and play together in harmony is a beautiful thing.  

We end the day peacefully with one last game or stories and bed.  And if the world is peaceful a bath.  I have started doing something new- getting settled into bed right after the kids.  Ewwwwwww!  There's still part of me that fights this every single night.  But I cannot argue with the good feeling I get from enough sleep.

Maybe that's why I have the kids lead, because I'm a big kid myself and if I follow, at least we all end up in the same place!

-Simbelmynë

My daughter complements me

She's Baking now, let's learn to clean up!

This was a math exercise, but my Princess has been boldly going where I don't like to-Baking Land!  Together we can whip up a pretty good meal.

Unconstrained

One of the toughest parts of home schooling is learning reasonable expectations and letting go of the way adults think about just about everything.

Now, it's possible that I'm becoming more patient, it's possible the kids are simply learning not to leave the living room completely covered in confetti, or it's possible that we are all learning to manage the craft supplies in a more positive way.

But I think we're finally getting the hang of letting the kids just craft. No limiting the amount of tape or paper they use, no insisting on supervision with the paints. Sure, sometimes supplies are limited, but it's quite easy to give them their own supply of paper and they're old enough to remember the drop cloth or to work outside.

A new friend, Jessica through National Craft Making Month makes the excellent point that great crafting sometimes comes when you go with the flow and just use what you have. Kids are the masters of that.

They don't have a strong idea of how the project will come out, exactly. If all they have is glue, they'll use that just as easily as tape. If the crayon's not just the right shade, they'll mix colors until they have what they like. If the inside of the cutout they just made looks just like a ghost, they'll draw spooky eyes and a spooky mouth and hang it on the window for Halloween.  And of course Stars are a great decoration, they're wearing their vampire costumes.  Your paper airplane won't fly? roll it into a cone and fence with it! the day will still be awesome. 

Too often I look at a project and feel I need to get more supplies before I start.  Or don't try because I haven't learned the skill yet.  I need to learn more from my kids.

-Simbelmynë

Books for the Road

Along with crafting, I'm rediscovering my love of books. Maybe I've just been too busy. Maybe the enormous number of unread books in my house in Pittsburgh has been stressing me out. Maybe the television was eating my soul. But I hadn't been entertaining myself with literature or non fiction for quite a while.  The idea of e-books is growing on me, but moving away from your wireless router or out of cellphone range will never be a problem with the bound paper version.

The kids love to know they aren't alone in getting dragged around the country and Are We There Yet is a favorite with both the kids and the adults. The elephant who ate the hated hat is Havoc's hero, and I'd love to surf on sandstone cliffs at the Australian Bight.

I've been cultivating our habit of breaking up our long drives by stopping a interesting spots along the way. It's better to find places that aren't marked on the signs sometimes. So we've been using The Geology of Australia as a bit of an off the path travel guide. This book is amazing in that it provides an intelligent explanation of geology and it's terms for a beginner, but also goes in depth into new information and nitty gritty science. I admit it, I've never taken a course in geology, and considering how much I love stones, this is unbelievable. I may rectify that problem when I get back, because this book is fascinating!

I miss my jewelry books, and the internet has supplied me with the information I need, but sometimes the best part of a book it's lack of distractions- No people! I was lucky enough to find a great bead shop and though I've finally reached the point where I feel I have enough beads. (Yes, I said it, it's possible to have enough beads.) They had a lovely rack of instructional books. There are hundreds of books on basic wireworking and bead work out there, the unusual thing is a book about more advanced technique. Wirework, and Illustrated Guide to the Art of Wire Wrapping was just the right thing, taking basic technique to the next step with inspiring and beautiful projects. There is no substitute for time in the studio with an experienced teacher, but when it's hard to find the time, books are great for self teaching.

And for entertainment, I'm reading the long long awaited final volume of the Wheel of Time series, The Gathering Storm. I love a good fantasy novel, especially one you can get your teeth into, and at almost 800 pages, these books will not leave you unsatisfied. The death of the Author was quite a blow to the fantasy world, but he left behind a testament to the care he took in writing. After committing to novels and a series of this epic proportion, he had carefully planned and plotted so much that it was possible to finish his work. Brian Sanderson is doing a great job bringing me the story I've been wanting to read since the early nineties in college.

What are you reading?

Distracted from Tidbinbilla

I have found my Sister's dream job in Australia.

We're on the opposite side of the globe from the United States, and with the clear atmosphere and political friendship between Australia and the US, space exploration cooperation is a natural thing.  The Canberra Deep  Space  Communication Complex , serves to maintain continuous tracking of the thousands of objects out in space.

Driving just a little bit into the mountains from Canberra, there's a turnoff for Tidbinbilla and the nature reserve there, but along the way, there's signs form the Deep Space Monitoring station.    The sign at the driveway alone made me intensely curious. 



And then you see the dishes pointing at the sky.



And inside the unassuming little visitor's center you can learn about these amazing instruments. 

The dish on the right has been moved from and is the dish that saved our butts when Neil Armstrong stepped onto the Moon.  Yup, that's right, the Americans planned to receive that famous video on a dish in our country, but we had a switch flipped and the feed came in Upside Down!  So our friends here in Australia scrambled to pick up the feed just the second the moon rose and just in time to send it to the US so we could make the historic broadcast right-side up.  So dramatic they made a movie about it:  The Dish. It's just been retired from service, after moving from it's original location at Honeysuckle Creek, to Canberra, and working hard for several years.

But the main attraction is the big dish. 


Seventy meter wide graceful metal following satellites and receiving information from deep space probes all day and all night.

Why is this my sis's dream job? 
Because they get to see these pictures even before NASA does!

So before they analyze the stunning pictures from Cassini orbiting Saturn

to see what they mean, the folk working at the station get to see these images in their raw beauty. 

Of course, Australian and an international array of scientists are working here in Canberra to collect and analyze the images and data they're receiving through the dishes.  But I can't help be a little bit jealous of the person who was "answering the phone" when this one came in. 

My kids were lucky enough to be in the front row when a tour came through with a fantastic guide talking about Mars and the plans under construction for sending people.  And they're the perfect ages to think about being the ones going!   The guide speculated that the people who would be landing on Mars were 6-10 right now!  My kids are 5, 7 and 9.  Perfect.

After the tour finished, we were just in time to watch the Dish move.  There is something awe inspiring in imagining it, like a sunflower, moving along with the sun as the different probes come into range.  Receiving the constant stream of information and transmitting direction to these amazing devices millions of miles away.

-Simbelmynë

Homeschool Solution

I know I'm not the only homeschooler who has moments of doubt about the future of the home school.  This one got worse and worse as that week progressed. 

But the weekend gave me a chance to think. 
To talk to my co-parent and fellow educational planner.
To reach out to some home schoolers online.

And to think about some of the causes of my severe frustration.  Of course it wasn't all the kid.  Some of this problem lies with me, it lies with the material.  It lies with the time we're spending.

Problem with the kid- He's bored, or the work is too challenging, or I'm not explaining well enough, or he's tired or hungry.
Problem with the material-It's presented in a boring fashion, It's too basic, it's too advanced
Problem with me-I'm being impatient, inflexible, using the wrong strategies, I'm tired, thinking about something else, bored.

Repeat analysis for each problem.

The solution was out there.  I could see that. 

The time was killing us most.  The material?  Well, for the eldest, this curriculum was covering stuff we'd already done in third grade.  I was trying to zip through the lessons to get to a better place, but each lesson's practice material was time consuming busy work.  And the whole family needed to get more sleep. 

Time:  it's not reasonable to spend more than an hour each day on each of the two problem subjects.  And really, we can get through a lesson in 30 minutes.  So I whipped out my trusty iPod, set the alarm and said "OK, we're going to work on Math for 30 minutes, until this alarm goes off, take a five minute break and then another 30 minutes for Language Arts."  Whatever we don't get done, we'll do tomorrow.  If we love the lesson and want to spend more time, we will.  We Will Not Fight anymore.

Material:  Screw review.  the bigger kids can review by teaching their little brother and each other, by playing math games until their fingers fall off.  They read clocks and practice with money at the store.  So I started with little tests to see where we needed to be.  Copy one or two problems from the lessons I knew were already in his head and have him complete those until they caused him some trouble.  Once we got to more challenging units, we slowed down to 1 or two lessons worth of new material per day, depending on the lessons. 

And sleep?  Food?  I really think by limiting the time spent fighting would reduce all of our stress levels and give us more time to think about cooking and shopping.

We've been imposing the time limits for 3 weeks now.  Nobody feels rushed, the fighting is going away.  (not totally gone, but mostly it's the "I don't wanna" type of fight, not the "I hate school" one, and dad bringing home candy for anybody who stays out of the fighting, Priceless)

And guess what? 

We've finished the rest of the Harry Potter series.  We've been to the library, comic book and video stores once a week for subject and independent reading materials.  Cleaned up the messy crazy house (ok, at least once).  Crafted.  Made food together.

And

We Haven't Hated Each Other At The End Of The Day Once!

I've even had time to tend to the Business of Intentional Stones.  Crafting and working for 4 hours a day is quite attainable!

So, Yes! I think I can have my cake and eat it too. 

I will re-evaluate again when it's time to return to the United States.  How much progress they have made, how much progress I have made in the business and in crafting and my own education.

(Another minor cause of my anxiety is my recording system.  So I've started a new blog for the homeschooling at blogger.)

Homeschooler in Crisis

A few weeks ago, I came to a crisis.  It seemed like I was, again, fighting these kids to get even the barest minimum of school work done.  Now, you'd think "Hey woman, what are your standards?  Maybe you're being too rough?!"

But no, My leanings are towards un-schooling so I prefer child lead study.  I want my kids to learn through exploring their interests. I am not, technically and Unschooler, I don't just leave them to do whatever they please.  I'd love that, but left on their own they would turn into Jimmy Jet. I have curriculum plans, I gently guide them or offer fun experiments and stories or whatever's appropriate to the subjects were looking at.  But if they want to study Samauri, that's what we do.  If we want to read Harry Potter for weeks and weeks, that's what we do. 

My minimum standard for "school" is that we do some writing and some math every day.  I'm not looking for 5 page essays or anything.  We have writing, spelling and reading comprehension workbooks that we work from one every day.  And Math is the Saxon Homeschool Curriculum, which emphasizes a brief lesson in new material, some practice problems and then a bunch of reviewing problems.  It's actually a little bit less advanced in material than the K12 math curricula we used last year. 

For a regular lesson, working through one of these should take between 15 and 30 minutes of work once we read through the material together.  And I'm very happy to help work through anything that's tough.

But no, we have been spending every single day fighting to get these two minimal lessons DONE.  Literally, it has taken us 5 hours just to make sure we've covered these two small bases.  And not because the material was too hard.  Because if my eyes left my eldest's paper, he would stop working.  Because "I Can't" was the mantra of the day, without even looking at the lesson.  Even more infuriating, this all happened while the other two were happily getting their lessons done.  But the example of reluctance was infectious. 

Art?  History? Science? Sports? Anything that sounds fun? 
Nobody is interested in doing these things At All after fighting for the entire day.

I certainly didn't want to do the work to maintain my crafting or to get the business promoted so that I can share my stuff.  And I didn't want to do any of that.

And I was done. 

The point of homeschooling is to provide them with a one-on-one education.  To give them better quality for their time.  To let them follow their interests as they occur, rather than wait until another day or another time when it's in the curriculum.  And to give our family the freedom to travel and see the world.  And to keep our family life integrated with constant learning and shared delight in discovery.

I was becoming frantic and upset.  I decided I was going to enroll them in the local school as soon as we get home, demolishing our ability to do things like hare off to Australia for long term work assignments.   I was looking for phone numbers to enroll them in the local school.  I was wondering how many friends I would lose because our common interest was homeschooling.

I hadn't crafted in many many weeks.  Etsy got no attention and this blog became nothing but travel.   And though travel is my life right now, I've proven over and over again to myself that I must take the time to make stuff and share it.  Creativity keeps me centered in my self and makes me successful in other endeavors.

Then I thought about all the time I would have.  I'd have at least 4 hours a day, and probably more, for crafting and business stuff.  I wouldn't feel neglectful of school if I took the day for cleaning and laundry. 

My guts were in a twist.  I didn't not want to lose all the benefits of homeschooling for my children.  But I still want the benefits to myself and my household I'd get from school not ruining every day. 

Good thing I had a weekend to cool off...

-Simbelmynë